If you believe that any of these sentences have meaning at all, you need to have your brain examined. The bad thing is, hundres upon thousands of marketing students and normal people, too, believe this stuff, becoming New Media Douchebags.
Thanks to Kate Solomon for the link.
P.S.: Don't know what a New Media Douchebag (short: NMD) is? Watch this little video to get to know the most harmless types: